I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in Love fast and without measuring the risks. I have a tendency not to only see the best in everyone, but assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential.
I have fallen in Love more times than I care to count with the highest of a man, rather than with the man himself, then I have hung on to the relationship for a long time, sometimes far too long, waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in Romance I have been a victim of my own optimism, and that’s the ugly truth about my reality.
I married young and quick, from a place of love and hope, without a lot of discussion over what the realities of marriage would mean. Nobody actually advised me on my marriage. I had been raised by my parents to be independent, self-proving and self- decisive. By the time I reached the age of twenty-four, it was assumed by everyone that I could make all my own choices autonomously, of course, the world was not always like this. If I’d been born during any century of the western patriarch, I would have been considered the property of my father until the time he passed me over to my husband to become marital property.
I would have had precious little say in the major matter of my own life. At one time in history, if a man had been my suitor, my father might have sat that man down with a long list of questions to establish whether it would be an approperity match. He would have wanted to know, How will you provide for my daughter? What is your reputation in this community? How is your Health? Where will you take her to live? What are your debt and your Assets? What is the strength of your character? My father would not have just given me away in marriage to anybody for the mere fact that I was in love with a fellow.
But in the modern life, when I made the decision to marry, my modern father didn’t become involved at all. He would have no more interfered with that decision than he would have told me how to style my hair; and what I have come to realize is that, in a patriarchic system, I have to be extremely careful and protective of myself, then I need to become my own father and also to challenge myself to become my own husband.
- This is a passage from one of the books that I am currently reading, which I found interesting…
Eat, Pray, and Love by Elizabeth
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