The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility is always an internal conflict of every human being. For this reason, I have never met, and will never meet an absolute Perfectionist, whose life is filled with a 100% inner peace. When we are used to having something in a certain way,we highly assume that it is, and it should be just that way; so when we see or experience something differently, then we suddenly are almost by definition, engage on losing the battle.

Rather than being grateful for, and contented with what we have, and we are focused on what is wrong, which implies that we are dissatisfied and discontent. Why? because when things do not happen the way we think and want, then definitely, it is not perfect and good enough for us.

Whether it is related to ourselves, a disorganized closet; a mess up living room full of kids toys, a scratch on car, an imperfect accomplishments of a project from work place, a few pounds we would like to lose, or someone else’s imperfections; the way someone looks or behaves or lives his or her life. The very act of focusing on imperfections pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle.

This Strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your best, but with being overly attached and focused on what is wrong with life. It’s about realizing that while there’s always a better way to do something, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit on insisting that things should be perfect than they are. Gently Remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now.

In the absence of your Judgement, everything would be fine. Well in reality, we’re based on whatever we focus on at any moment in time. Whatever we focus on , that is what becomes most real to us.

As we begin to eliminate our need for perfection in all areas of our life, we will begin to discover the perfection in life itself within the affection of our inner peace.




  1. I believe you are quoting Richard Carlson, PH.D. from “A Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff Treasury – A Special Selection for Mothers”. I feel his words and this source should be cited.


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